The Taming of a Maureen Johnson
by Lexi Marie
Summary: Taming of the Shrew RENT style. Um....I think that sums it up.
1. So It All Begins

AN: This is not something that I really thought about posting, but a few of my friends threatened my to oblivion unless I posted this so here it is. As for howthis idea came about, let's just leave it at, it was an english assignment to translate Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare into something different and more modern. We were only assigned one act to translate. Here is Act 1 Scene 1, Scene 2 might come later. Enjoy! And please R&R because I would like to knwo what people think of it. And this may be a one shot unless I get reviews wanting me to finish it or I get very bored.

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Name Changes

Roger Davis-Larson (Lucentio) - The son of the prominent lawyer, Jonathan Larson. They have lived in Scarsdale, but Roger, along with his friend, Mark, have come to Alphebet City to make a living. Roger doesn't get along with his father who is trying to force him to become a lawyer to bring more glory to the family name. Roger also has AIDS due to experimenting with drugs to upset his father and he unfortunalty used contaminated needles. He is also aspiring to become a guitarist.

Mark Cohen (Tranio) - Roger's best friend from school. He has no real connections with his father and Roger's father fills in that position. Mark is a film maker also trying to make a living. He is more realistic about his, and Roger's, chances of making it big in New York.

Tom Collins (Baptista)- Father of Mimi and Maureen, he is professer at New York University and will do anything to keep his daughters, mainly Mimi, happy. Although he could afford a much nicer apartment in New York, he doesn't want to leave the area he and his father grew up in, he does understand the dangers of living in the area.

Maureen Johnson Collins (Katherine) – Maureen is a quite rude and hateful daughter. She knows that they could be doing much better and doesn't understand why they do not move. She was also old enough to remember the murder of her mother and it has left an emotional scar on her. As for her sexuality, she has nothing to hide about swinging both ways.

Mimi Marquez Collins (Bianca) – Mimi is the picture perfect daughter, sweet and demure, never doing anything to harm anyone or anything. She has two men persuing her hand in marriage, yet she knows nothing can happen until her sister gets married, which looks like it may be never. She also enjoys dancing and music, taking comfort in both things.

Benjamin 'Benny' CoffinIII (Hortensio) – Benny is a rich man from the better part of New York, his is looking for a wife, although she would have to be a perfect wife to take to dinner parties to show off and further his career. He has known Collins for a long time and they have been good friends. Is an insensitive jerk most of the time, thinking he is better than most others.

Gordon Lohr (Grumio) – A payed helper of Joann's who helps her with her casesand her schedule when she travels, which is often.

Steve Wilcox (Gremio) – Also a man after Mimi's hand, he is not as well off as Benny and doesn't pretend to be. He is rivals with Benny and has also been good friends with Collins for a long time.

Angel Dumott Schunard (Biondello) – An apartment owner who Roger and Mark rent the Loft from. Later he becomes good friends with the two. He is also a cross dresser and confusion is a guarantee.

Joann Jefferson (Petruchio) – A high class lawyer, Joann is well known all throughout the upper class society. She has come to New York on business and while there decides to visit her old friend Benny. She has a sense of humor and is open about being a lesbian although most of the upper class tends to ignore this little piece of information.

April- former lover who killed herself after she found out they had AIDS.

Location Changes

Padua- Alphabet City in New York City, New York

Pisa- Santa Fe, New Mexico

Florence- Scarsdale in New York City, New York

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**Act 1**

**Scene 1: Streets of Alphabet City near the loft**

_MUSETTA'S WALTZ PLAYS SOFTLY AS MARK AND ROGER ENTER_

ROGER: New York City, the center of the musical universe. The place where dreams are made and broken. You either make it or bust. You couldn't believe how long I've be waiting to come here, to see the city, to hear the music, to see the sights, to hear the sounds, to get away from Scarsdale, to break away from my father, to make a name for myself.

MARK:Or go bust.

ROGER:Mark, old buddy, it's make it or break it, and I'm going to make it or die trying.

MARK: You're going to die anyway.

ROGER:Thanks. You're a great friend.

MARK:Well, what would you like me to say? That everything is going to turn out the way that you've planed? That nothing could go wrong? That you're going to become a wealthy, famous musican? By the way, have you figured out what you're going to say to your father when you run out of money and have to go crawling back to him on your hands and knees to beg him for more? And have you-?

ROGER:That's never gonna happen.

MARK:_Sarcastically_ Sure it's not.

ROGER:It's not.

MARK:I believe you. Now back to the question that you so rudly interrupted. Have you given any thought to the idea of going to NYU while you're here? You'd still be able to play whenever you wanted, but you'd have a back up plan if anything happened.

ROGER:No way in hell am I going to go to class with all those stuck up jackasses whose fathers put in bribes to get them in to school. And I don't need a back up plan; I'd rather starve than prove my father right.

MARK:Not even to pay for your AZT?

ROGER:I'll manage. Now drop it.

MARK:Okay.

ROGER:_Impatiently_ Where's this Angel chick who's supposed to show us the loft? I wanna drop our crap off and scope out the area, check out the local bars and cafes. She said she'd be here at noon, it's fifteen past. We haven't got all day. _A commotion is heard_ What the-? What's going on?

MARK:Like I know any more than you do. _Sarcastically_ Maybe it's a welcoming parade coming to meet us. Oh, what fun! Maybe they come bearing gifts. Or maybe, do you think they'll bring-?

ROGER:Shut up.

_MARK AND ROGER MOVE OFF TO THE SIDE TO OBSERVE. _

_COLLINS ENTERS FOLLOWED BYMAUREEN, MIMI, STEVE AND BENNY_

COLLINS:Would you stop already? I've already told you my position on the issue. There is no way I will even allow Mimi to even think of getting married until Maureen has a husband. You've both been great friends of mine for so long than I would hate to have to rethink our relationship. Now if onen you you would consider marrying Maureen and doing the other a favor I would not object, in fact I would give whom ever my deepest, most sincere blessings.

STEVE:You must be joking. Maureen, a wife? It's like suicide. Benny?

MAUREEN:_To COLLINS_ Are you trying to humiliate me? Selling me off like some worthless whore to these- these- these 'suiters'?

BENNY:Suicide? You're one to talk AIDES boy. _To MAUREEN_ Suiters of yours, no way in hell.

MAUREEN:I couldn't care less. The only reason I would ever want anything to do with you would be if I needed someone to bash in the face with a baseball bat and make a fool of.

BENNY:Then may the powers that be keep you far away from me.

STEVE:And me, too.

MARK:_To ROGER_ She's either completely crazy or incredibly willful. I'm not quite sure which.

ROGER:_To self _She's amazing, one of the most beautiful creatures to ever walk the face of the earth, a goddess, a muse.

MARK:_To ROGER _Are you insane? She just threatened to bash that man's head in!

ROGER:_To self_ I've got to meet her, got to get to know her. I don't think I can live without her in my life.

MARK:_To self_ It's official, he's gone insane. It was bound to happen after too many years playing the electric guitar. Poor Roger, though I guess this means he doesn't need his guitar any more and I can finally smash it to-

ROGER:_Back in reality_ Touch the guitar and die.

MARK:As you say master.

COLLINS:For the last time, I'm not going back on my word. Mimi, would you mind going inside while I try to reason with my dear friends?

MIMI:No problem, I need to finish a paper that's due tomorrow and have to be at the café at three.

_MIMI EXITS_

MAUREEN:She would jump of a cliff if some one asked her too. Good lord how can she live like a lap dog? It's disgusting.

COLLINS:Thank you for your input Maureen. _To STEVE and BENNY_ Good day.

_COLLINS EXITS_

MAUREEN:Great, they leave me here to be insulted by you idiots. I hope you burn in hell and have a horrible day.

_MAUREEN EXITS_

STEVE:Same to you. _Starts to exit only to be stopped by BENNY_ Yes?

BENNY:We are both after the same woman, are we not?

STEVE:We are, as you should know.

BENNY:And we are both at a stalemate until Maureen has a husband, correct?

STEVE:And your point is?

BENNY:My point is that for the time being we are going to have to put our differences aside and work together.

STEVE:Me work with you? I don't think so.

BENNY:Just hear me out, will you? As I was saying, I think the only way to get rid of the obstacle is to woek together in trying to find a man that will take Maureen out of our way-

STEVE:No man would be stupid enough to go after that devil.

BENNY:With the right incentive of her worth, some men might.

STEVE:Sure, let's just put an ad in the paper and see what idiot comes along. Maureen's reputation is known far and wide, we will never find anyone who will take her on.

BENNY:But we might, let me put it this way, the sooner we find some one for her the sooner we can go back to our normal routine of hating each other.

STEVE:Well, geee, when you put it that way it sounds so much better. Benny, no man or beast alive will tangle with this wild creature we have on our hands.

BENNY:Who said that it had to be a man?

STEVE:Like any woman would take her either. But I guess, as there is no other choice, I'll work with you.

BENNY:Great.Shall we begin planning over coffee?

STEVE:Lead the way.

_STEVE AND BENNY EXIT_

MARK:Roger, were we talking about the same woman? She threatened to bash that Benny guy's head in and you call her your muse?

ROGER:You dumb ass, I wasn't talking about that wench, I was talking about the other beauty. Mimi, my muse.

MARK:How can you be sure after just one glance that she is your muse? You said that April was your muse and look how that turned out.

ROGER:She's different, I know it. She's unlike anyone I've ever meet before, so sweet and innocent. She's the one, I can feel it. Mark, you've got to believe me and help me meet her. I can't live without her.

MARK:Roger, you can't be serious. You'll be over her the next time a chick in a short skirt walks by you moving her hips.

ROGER:I'm not that bad. Please Mark, I'll do anything.

MARK:Anything?

ROGER:Anything but give this up. For crying out loud, how about I buy you a new camera?

MARK:A nice one? Not a second hand one?

ROGER:Yes, any camera you want, just please help me do this.

MARK:Any camera I want?

ROGER:YES!

MARK: Alright, but I'm only doing this for the camera and to see you make a fool of yourself.

ROGER:I don't care.

MARK:So what's your plan?

ROGER:I, uh, hadn't gotten that far yet.

MARK:Right.

ROGER:Maybe though, she mentioned working at a café, maybe they'll have an opening and I can use that to get closer to her and then...then...

MARK:And then what?

ROGER:I don't know.

MARK:You'll have to figure that part out soon. In the mean time are you sure you won't go to college, if you want to impress her you'll need better clothes than what you brough and that does require money.

ROGER:Screw school, I won't go.

MARK:What about all the money that your dad's spending on classes?

ROGER:I don't care.

MARK:Rog, he's going to have his friends at the school checking up on you. He's bound to notice that you aren't going.

ROGER:Then you'll go in my place.

MARK:I really don't think that's a-

ROGER:You promised to help me.

MARK:Yeah, but not to go to school for you

ROGER:Do you want the camera of not?

MARK:Fine.

_ANGEL ENTERS LOOKING FRAZZELED_

ANGEL:Oh crap, they're bound to have left by now. Stupid bus strike.

MARK:Are you looking for some one?

ANGEL:Just a man named Roger, I'm supposed to be showing him an apartment, but I ran into problems on the way her.

MARK:Well, it's just your luck that he's righ-

_ROGER ELBOWS MARK IN THE RIBS_

MARK:He's standing right in front of you.

ANGEL:You're Roger.

MARK: Yep.

ANGEL:Nice to meet you, I'm Angel Dumott Schunard. I'm very sorry that I'm late I ran into problems due to the bus strike.

MARK:No prob. Let's see this loft.

ANGEL:Sure, this way.

_ANGEL AND MARK EXIT FOLLOWED BY ROGER._

_END SCENE 1_


	2. In Which We Find Out Benny

**Scene 2: A street in Eastchester in front of a large mansion**

_JOANN AND GORDON STAND IN FRONT OF THE MANSION LOOKING_

_AT IT, GORDON IN AWE, JOANN IN CONFUSSION_

JOANN: Are you absolutely sure that this is the correct place? The last time I checked he didn't have quite enough money to live in a place like this. In fact he barely had enough to be living in the loft in Alphebat City when I met him and for that matter when I left, but that's beside the point. We're in what? Eastchester? Are you sure this is the right place.

GORDON:It says right here on the e-mail he sent you that this is indeed Eastchester and unless he moved in ht epast three days, we are at the correct house-mansion-palace-thing. You know, it's rather big.

JOANN:_Sarcastically_ No, really, is it? I hadn't noticed.

_BENNY ENTERS ON HIS CELL PHONE_

BENNY:_On phone_ The owner of that lot next door has a right to do with it as he pleases. I'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee, that you can stay here for free, if you do me one small favor. _Pauses_ Convince Noreen to cancel her protest._Pause_ Yea, I did and they're on stand-by, but my investors would rather I handle this quietly._Pause_ Then no deal. _Hangs up_

JOANN:Benny?

BENNY:Who-Joann? It's been a long time. How have you been?

JOANN:Fine. And yourself? I see that I've missed a lot over the past few years. Really Benny, Eastchester?

BENNY:I've been fine. And yes Eastchester, Allison's father decided that the loft was not a suitable place for a woman of her status.

JOANN:Allison?

BENNY:The former Allison Grey. My wife.

JOANN:Interesting.

BENNY:So what brings you to this neck of the woods? Don't you have some famous star in Hollywood that needs your legal assistant to cateer to?

JOANN:Good to see you, too. As for why I'm here, I'm dealing with some issues at our branch up here and I figured I'd stop by when I got here. Say hi, catch up, that sort of thing.

BENNY:Sorry. It is great to see you. Have you got a place to stay?

JOANN:Not yet. I was figuring I could check into the Novotel.

BENNY:Why don't you stay with us, it wouldn't pose any problem.

JOANN:Are you sure?

BENNY:Would I have suggested it if I wasn't? _Phone rings_ Sorry, just a moment. _Answers phone_ Yes? _Pause_ Oh, hello. What do you need? _Pause_ Well, have you heard him play? _Pause_ Is he any good? _Pause_ No I don't have time to come down there to hear his play. Who else heard him play? _Pause_ Well, put him on. _Pause_ Was he good? _Pause_ Hire him. If I don't like what I hear when I come down this weekend then you'll fine someone new. _Pause_ The normal amount for the gig, if he passes the customer's spproval he might get a raise. _Pause_ Bye. _Hangs up_

JOANN:What was that about?

BENNY:I bought out the Life Café a few years ago. We recently had to fire our guitarist and Allie found a replacement.

JOANN:THE Life Café?

BENNY:The one and only.

JOANN:Wow.

BENNY:Now, enough about me. Have you go a woman since I last saw you?

JOANN:No. I just can't find anyone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. They're all too, too innocent and girly and annoying and giggly. It's disgusting.

BENNY:_Getting an idea_ So what exactally are you looking for in a woman?

JOANN:Just someone who's more interesting and deep, someone unique and unpredictable.

BENNY:Really. Anything else?

JOANN:I don't know. I just want someone who likes me for who I am and likes me, hell, even loves me for it.

BENNY:I think that I might know someone fitting that description. Tomorrow I'll take ou to meet her.

JOANN:Are they anything like you, because if they are I might just have to kill you.

BENNY:I can swear to you right now, they are nothing like me in the slightest. Will you meet them?

JOANN:Sure, why not.

BENNY:Great.

_JOANN AND BENNY EXIT TALKING ABOUT THE GOINGS ON OFF LIFE_

_BENNY HAS A SLIGHT HOP IN HIS STEP AT THE THOUGH OF GETTING JOANN AND MAUREEN TOGETHER_

_END SCENE 2_


End file.
